“Bisexuality means sexual or romantic attraction or behavior directed towards some members of more than one sex. A strict definition of a bisexual would be someone who has romantic and/or sexual relations with other people of more than one sex.

However, since not everyone has necessarily had the opportunity to act on their sexual/romantic attractions, some people prefer a looser definition; for instance, that a bisexual is a person who – in their own estimation – feels potentially able to have such attraction. This could be anyone who has erotic, affectionate, or romantic feelings for, fantasies of, and/or experiences with both men and women. A bisexual may be more attracted to one sex than the other, attracted equally to both, or find people’s sex unimportant. The strength of their attractions to men and women may vary over time.” soc.bi

That’s very technical, but that pretty much sums up bisexuality – if you feel that you are attracted to men and women romantically or sexually, in whatever ratio, you may well be bisexual. Whether that’s your identity though, is entirely up to you.

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Bisexual Students’ Representative

Bisexual students have a permanent representative on the LGBT Society Committee to ensure that their views are heard and their needs are looked after. The 2009-10 Bi Rep is Kay Bassett. Please contact her at kay.bassett@student.manchester.ac.uk if you have any problems you need help with or any ideas on how to help bi students, or indeed just for a chat. It’s always nice to meet one’s constituents!

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Society events for bi students and everyone else

Bi drop-in: Bi drop-in: Kay, your friendly neighbourhood bisexual representative, holds bisexual drop-in sessions once a week for anyone, bisexual or not, to drop by and talk about issues that affect them (though bisexual-related is preferred. ). You might be struggling with your sexual identity, being bullied, having relationship problems… or have just come out to your parents and feeling elated, got great exam results, or just had the most amazing idea for an event and want to talk about it. Tell Kay all about it, that’s what she’s there for!

North campus drop-in Monday 2-4pm in the LGBT Library and Safe Space in the Student Union in the Barnes Wallis Building on Sackville Street.

If you have any ideas for Bisexual students events please drop Kay a message at kay.bassett@student.manchester.ac.uk. Open to suggestions.

Bisexual Beverages: Details not confirmed yet, but replacing the bisexual coffee hour, a friendly social gathering (with tea, coffee and BIscuits!) has been mooted, once a fortnight in the early evening. The proposed time has been based on consultation with bi students about when they are most free – if you would prefer a different time please email Sarah at sarah.mcculloch@student.manchester.ac.uk and it may be reconsidered.

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Community events and groups

Biphoria: a social and discussion group for bisexual people and those questioning their sexual orientation who think they might be bi. They get together monthly to discuss bi issues, give each other support, share information about national bi events and groups and to arrange social activities for the rest of the month. Meet on the first Tuesday of every month from 7.30pm – 9.30pm at the Lesbian & Gay Foundation building, as well as having an active social programme between group meetings. New members should try and arrive early for the main group meetings as the space from 730 – 8pm is for new members only. After BiPhoria meetings there is a meetup in Taurus bar on Canal Street – you can go there from about 9.45pm on group nights if you miss the main get-together.

If you would like to go to BiPhoria but don’t want to go on your own, contact Sarah at sarah.mcculloch@student.manchester.ac.uk and she will be very happy to accompany you even if she’s not already going!

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Bi Community News: The main newsletter for the British bisexual community and a hub of bisexual activism. Absolutely riveting, whatever your sexuality. Strongly reccommend you subscribe, but if you don’t there should always be the latest copy in the LGBT Library.

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BiCon: The biggest event in the British bi calendar each year is called BiCon. BiCon is an annual weekend-long gathering for bisexual people, their friends, partners and anyone with a supportive interest in diversity. Each year it is held in a different city.  It’s a long weekend away with a bunch of other bi and bi-friendly people, held in a different city each summer. There is a daytime programme of speakers, discussions and workshops, and in the evenings there are discos, live music and other entertainment. It can be a really good way to meet a diverse group of bi people and make new friends. The 2009 event will be at the University of Worcester from 20th-24th August.

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Other resources

Bisexuality at Wikipedia

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Bisexual Resource Centre: A Boston-based organisation listing bisexuality-related magazines, books, films, websites, mailing lists and organisations.

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Frequently Asked Questions (with answers stolen from soc.bi)

Vocabulary:

MOTOS: Member of the Opposite Sex

MOTSS: Member of the Same Sex

SO: Significant Other

Aren’t bisexuals just going through a phase of being confused about their sexuality?

The simple answer is “no” or at least “not necessarily” – many of us are absolutely certain that we are attracted to both sexes; there is no confusion. Many people are bisexual for life, which proves it is not always just a phase.

It is natural for people who are coming to terms with a sexuality which is not society’s norm to be feel confused. For some people, bisexuality is a phase between homosexuality and heterosexuality (and the individual in question could be going in either direction); for others it can just be a brief experimentation. But for many people bisexuality is a lifelong, committed sexual orientation.

And even for those who ultimately do not stay bisexual for life, that does not make it any the less valid as a sexual orientation. Many people have reported that their sexual orientation has shifted over time; sexuality is dynamic, not fixed. For some people it may be a small shift, others a major change of lifestyle; but this does not make the points in between in any sense “wrong”. Life is a continuous process, and few of us remain exactly the same over long periods of time.

Some people who behave bisexually (having sex with both MOTSS and MOTOS over time) identify themselves as gay or lesbian or straight. This too does not mean that they are confused, only that they base their sexual identity on their primary interest rather than going for the more technical term bisexual.

Aren’t bisexuals really denying their homosexuality?

It’s difficult for some lesbian/gay people to come to grips with their homosexuality, and for a while, dating MOTOS may make life seem a little more “normal” and bearable. Let’s face it, coming out of the closet and living as a homosexual is no picnic; between the sanctioned discrimination which gay/bi men face of being in a perceived high risk group for AIDS, and the social standards of love, courtship, and marriage, being gay at times takes more energy than humans should be asked to give.

But coming out bisexual is no easy matter, either. Some bisexuals have to face loved ones who have relied in the past on their attraction to them being constant, and who have to assure them that it will be there in the future. We also often have to deal with straight friends who assure us that our attraction to MOTSS is just “a way of avoiding intimacy” or gay friends who suggest that our attraction to MOTOS is “internalized homophobia”. At all events, whether or not a bisexual is currently involved with a MOTSS, to much of the straight world anyone who comes out as bi is queer, “one of them,” and is discriminated against and excluded on that basis. Thus, being bi is not an “easy way out,” a “denial,” or a “middle ground.” It is for many people the hardest decision they will ever make.

Isn’t everyone really bisexual?

Not by any useful definition. A useful definition of bisexuality might be, anyone who has serious relationships with members of both sexes, and anyone who identifies as bisexual. It is possible to suggest that everyone has some potential for attraction to both sexes, but since most people never act on it, (*) this is pretty irrelevant.

If someone says that they are straight, or (gay/lesbian) then for you to insist that they are “really” bisexual but perhaps just don’t realise it is to deny them their self-identity. Everyone should be free to define their own identity for themselves, which invalidates this kind of generalisation.

Moreover, bisexuality is not better than being straight or gay. The best thing for each individual is to be what they feel is right. So please do not think that people identify as bisexual if they are “more highly evolved” or more in touch with their inner feelings. Accept diversity – different people really are different.

(*) Research carried out at the Harvard School of Public Health, USA in 1994 found that 20.8% of the men and 17.8% of the women studied admitted to same-sex sexual attraction/behaviour at some time in their lives.

Why do you think bi issues are different from gay issues, since all your problems come from the same source, homophobia?

While homophobia is a bi issue (many would say the biggest issue), we do also have concerns different from those of the gay community; the most striking being that of dealing with prejudice from the gay community itself!

Among our other issues is the problem of dealing with the emotion of SOs who we deeply love yet who cannot understand our attraction to both sexes. And being accepted as bisexual if we only have one partner. And we have to deal with a lot of myths which surround bisexuality.

Why would lesbians/gay men discriminate against bisexuals?

One reason is because we are sometimes perceived as “hiding,” a sense that some bisexuals use their bisexuality to look heterosexual at work, in straight social settings, to enjoy the “heterosexual privilege” that is part of the social norm. Secondly, bisexuals are sometimes seen as blurring the issues and weakening the lesbian and gay movement. Naturally, bisexual activists disagree with this view (we feel that the real issue is sexual freedom for all sexualities), but sometimes lesbians and gays label bisexuals “traitors” for this reason. A further reason is that some lesbians and gay men also have sex with MOTOS (while not identifying as bisexual). Often peer pressure means that they can’t admit this in the lesbian and gay communities, and see bisexuality as a threat to their own acceptance. And finally, simply because of the fear that arises out of ignorance and out of the media’s very poor record of portraying bisexuals as serial killers, homophobes and generally self-centred, confused people.

The lesbian and gay communities are oppressed by homophobia and prejudice, but unfortunately being oppressed is no guarantee that you won’t oppress others. Happily, prejudice against bisexuals in the lesbian and gay communities seems to be diminishing over time as more people come to accept that sexuality is not a monochrome issue.